mo ti to

I get on my knees, in defeat and I ask

You to feel me, embrace me within your loving arms, prove to me that this nightmare has an end.

I ask you,

Why me?

Why the woman with no home to run to, no family on foreign land, no stranger as a friend, 

You’ve made me into a community of hidden secrets that only homes feelings of discomfort.

I want to hate you, have every ounce of me detest your being and pray for your death,

Plan the service, invite your acquaintances as we drink to your demise

Yet broken as I am, beaten as I have become,

I wonder…

Did my hands not love you enough?

My lips not cater to your every need?

My body not run marathons to abide by your laws?

Yet I’m still held prisoner to the thought of your mother,

You imprison me in her image,

You see nothing worthy of you in me like he did her

So I seek from you another answer,

Had I not mothered you better than your own could?

Did I not bow at your empire like a slave does a master?

Ask for your forgiveness likes sinners do a God?

Obey your rules like a child their parent?

Was I not enough to quench your thirst, subdue your hunger, love the unloved?

Had my words not kissed you right?

But I yearn towards you in awe, 

Touch you in places foreign to her sight, I embraced you in times where I did not want you

Allowed you lay on me and take, reap what you did not sow,

Yet the heavens fail me,

They hear my cry as I plead for my life on death row, 

Everytime, 

I die,

As your hands drills upon my shattered skin,

Drilling to penetrate the wholesome parts, you seek to find nothing

Bending and breaking me,

I die everytime, 

Trying to understand where I have gone wrong

One Comment Add yours

  1. Angel says:

    Lovley

    I understsnd this … yes 🙄

    Awesome

    Liked by 1 person

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