I think I was somewhere between nowhere and somewhere. There is no question in saying I was lost, and it would be a lie if I said I wanted to be found. I think after a while being in such a long loop and not knowing whether you’ll ever get to the other side alive, or even come out at all you start to love the abyss. You enjoy the company of you because you have no choice.
I wrote these poems and honestly felt sick to my pit, I was trying to put my thoughts and feeling into words yet all I did was actually hide behind them. As you know I don’t shy away from putting everything on paper and walking away. I don’t walk because I am a coward but because that is all there is to offer – nothing more nothing less, just my words and the feeling of them lifting a weight off my shoulders. I always try and open the space to invite other people’s vulnerability yet in a crazy way I tried so hard to remain trapped within those dark and scary emotions – they felt like home.
So now I am here, wanting you to read them and create an environment that allows me to peep through this darkness and to be. Just be. Simply exist without nothing more and nothing less.